Have you ever felt intimidated by something so outstanding, gorgeous, eye-catching before?
Or perhaps, feel inferior about what people might think of you, and how they look at you?
You know,
today's prolly one of the few days that I'm feeling not myself at all.
I woke up to a disturbing bark coming from my dog,
only to find that it was 7:30 a.m in the morning.
So early, on a saturday morning.
Then, it all started.
Bad hair day. SOO fugly-looking.
Huge dark circles that scare the living hell out of me.
Swollen eyes. It was as if I got attacked by a swarm of bees! No joke.
and, Body image disorder that made me look like some FREAK.
Such low self-esteem I have these days.
There's a time when I would sit in a corner,
wondering what had gone wrong.
Hoping that things would get better by day,
but, boy, was I wrong.
Things NEVER got better.
I took one look in the mirror,
and, felt that the whole world was falling apart,
"Look at yourself,Mell. Not worthy of anything. Nothing good comes out from you.
You should be down in the dumps, digging for dirts."
that was the voice that kept ringing in my head.
So loud and clear,
it was enough to break the heart into pieces.
Okay.
So,Maybe you might hate me now for sounding so bitchy,
annoying, and paranoid perhaps?
I'm sorry.
It's just one of those days when you just don't wanna be yourself anymore.
You just quietly wished to be somebody you've been wanting to be all along.
Don't you experience the same thing too? hrmmm.
Hence, I'm declaring today, A SCREWED UP day for me.
Speaking of Body image disorder,
I'm sooo close to reaching this body figure. :/
Have been soaking my stomach with fats and oils.
Maybe this is the reason why I'm feeling such a loser, lately. :(
GAH. Just, shoot me dead, will ya?
I wanna have her BODY.
ohemgee.
I would starve myself for this. Serious.
I want to achieve that figure on the LEFT!
I would KILL to have that.
It's time to head over to the GYM soon.
and, starve.
toodles.
She is just so f***ing irritating.
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