Run free.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Tanjung Sepat!

BYE!

and, don't miss me? ;)

a lil' bittersweet.

Oh boy. Here we go again.

Travelling in circles,

Being led on,

Emotions.

Roller coasters.

Speed bumps.

All in one. One in all.

what a mess, yes?

A cycle of happiness,sadness,happiness,sadness..

Sadly, it just doesn't stop there,

it continues on..

but, HOW LONG MORE?

With love,

take a stand,

be firm,

stay strong.

Greaaaaaat!

I've just wasted one hour of my life....

Doing abolutely nothing.

Stonning is definitely not something.

Hormonal imbalance.

Must be that,

or I'm just plain problematic,

that's all.

We climb so fast, only to realise we're falling even harder this time.

Have you ever felt intimidated by something so outstanding, gorgeous, eye-catching before?

Or perhaps, feel inferior about what people might think of you, and how they look at you?

You know,

today's prolly one of the few days that I'm feeling not myself at all.

I woke up to a disturbing bark coming from my dog,

only to find that it was 7:30 a.m in the morning.

So early, on a saturday morning.

Then, it all started.

Bad hair day. SOO fugly-looking.

Huge dark circles that scare the living hell out of me.

Swollen eyes. It was as if I got attacked by a swarm of bees! No joke.

and, Body image disorder that made me look like some FREAK.

Such low self-esteem I have these days.

There's a time when I would sit in a corner,

wondering what had gone wrong.

Hoping that things would get better by day,

but, boy, was I wrong.

Things NEVER got better.

I took one look in the mirror,

and, felt that the whole world was falling apart,

"Look at yourself,Mell. Not worthy of anything. Nothing good comes out from you.

You should be down in the dumps, digging for dirts."

that was the voice that kept ringing in my head.

So loud and clear,

it was enough to break the heart into pieces.

Okay.

So,Maybe you might hate me now for sounding so bitchy,

annoying, and paranoid perhaps?

I'm sorry.

It's just one of those days when you just don't wanna be yourself anymore.

You just quietly wished to be somebody you've been wanting to be all along.

Don't you experience the same thing too? hrmmm.

Hence, I'm declaring today, A SCREWED UP day for me.

Speaking of Body image disorder,

I'm sooo close to reaching this body figure. :/

Have been soaking my stomach with fats and oils.

Maybe this is the reason why I'm feeling such a loser, lately. :(

GAH. Just, shoot me dead, will ya?

I wanna have her BODY.

ohemgee.

I would starve myself for this. Serious.

I want to achieve that figure on the LEFT!

I would KILL to have that.

It's time to head over to the GYM soon.

and, starve.

toodles.

She is just so f***ing irritating.

So be it.

I fake a smile, so that he won't see.

Someone once said,

" We are not weak. We are just like skin.

At first, we are impervious to pain, even as the needle slowly inches

deeper and deeper into our flesh,

But,when the needle finally pierces through with full force,

Feelings of Pain,jealousy,uncertainty rushes into our innards,

Destroying all sense of peace, and tranquility in our hearts.

and, Even when a scab forms over our wound,

the slightest pressure on it, will eventually break it wide open again,

and, Behind this scab, the wound is still raw, unhealed.

That's what we are.

The scabs.

Easily hurt, and vulnerable."

We're SIMPLY FABULOUS.

EMBRACE that! :)

So...

Earlier this week,

Maybelline was over at Taylor's,

promoting their cosmetics,

introducing the SIMPLY FABULOUS contest thingy. ;)

giving FREE MAKE OVER for girls,

and even offering complimentary make~up kit (foundation + eye shadow) for the first 50 paticipants.

Sonia, Lenn, Hui and I decided to try it out for FUN.

heh. well, more like we were attracted to the free make up kit worth up to RM 80/=.

heee. (:

HOWEVER,

I had a terrible make-up artist that made me look SOOOO white /pale/ghostly due to the excessive amount of foundation & concealer slapped all over my face!

I nearly died when I looked at my reflection in the mirror.

geeeee.

We even skipped Bio lecture for the make over! -,-

AND, it didn't even turned out right, for me. BLEH.

Not worth it at all! Hmph.

Anyway, Scroll down for pictureeeesss! (:

My name is Melissa.

and, I am SIMPLY FABULOUS. (:

Do you get the picture now?

I look like a ghost. :(

Lenny Boo Boo and Mellie Boo.

I felt PLASTIC on that day.

like, omg. flawless complexion?

So fake laaaa. pfffft.

Lenn and moi.

Seeee. You get what I mean now?

My face was soooo white compared to lenn.

Horrible looking! :(

Peek-a-Boo!

I see you! (:

Hui (with outstretched arms), Moi, Lenna, Sonia (front row)

Hui and Lenna.

I took this picture of her!

I took this picture of her!

I took this picture of her!

nice, nice?! ;)

People, meet Lenna Lai Poh Har.

Just turned 17 this year.

Pretty,yes?! (:

Sonia Sin Mae Yoong!

Yours truly.

I think I took this too! ;)

oh oh..

People, meet Soo Yong Hui.

Turning 18 end of this year.

She's single and ready to mingle! :P

Aren't you?

Har Har. (:

Sonia!

18 and LEGAL.

I likeee!

S.S.

Sonia. Soo Yong Hui.

Tania Kat-Lin Edward.

Miss talking to you,huns.

Omg. You've been MIA for sooo long.

<3

Was I the only one who fell in love?

There never really was the two of us.

If I could give this feeling back to you..

Half dead.

As much as I want to tuck myself into bed and doze off like an innocent child,

I just know I can't.

I can't possibly put myself to sleep now. :(

Priorities, priorities. :/

ohgosh.

Physics and Maths tomorrow.

BOO!

on a lighter note,

Can't wait for tomorrow to be officially over.

wheeeeee (:

loves.

guilt attack for skipping Bio class today. :/

Hatred.

Heh. I hope I didn't scare you,there! (:


So, anyways..

I've absolutely zero idea why I'm still up this late. (p.s : it's 4:17 am,by the way)

and, you know what?

I'm only here, because,

I hate maths. LOATHE maths.

and, I'm making this OFFICIAL.

pfffft.

can DIE by just looking at the questions wei.

BOO! T.T

I wanna like doing maths, once again. :/

like old times, ya know?

what happened to the enthusiasm I used to have during the highschool years?

oh boy,I don't know.

Maybe,

it's.......... gone.

and, I'm probably a goner by now.

HAHA.

DARN it!

this post sounds damn emo and random.

pfffffffft.

but hey, you know what?

i still HATE maths.

g'nites.

Familiarity.

I just wanna keep running and never look back.

Would you take my hand and run together with me?

P.S : Mathematical studies is tormenting. :/

improvised.

Void.

Well, many of you might have already noticed the difference (:

But, I'm gonna mention it here, just in case some are a lil' less observant and unaware of the changes made.. *sniggers*

YEAP! New layout! wheeee..

More like, a different background colour and a new header picture only.... >.<

but, oh well.. at least there is a DIFFERENCE,right?

Have been wanting to revamp my blog and give it a new outlook since forever, but I PROCRASTINATED, as usual.

Hence, the delay.

SO, no more black, dull, mundane background to bore you, readers anymore!

Happy?! ;)

Okay.

Now, back to the depressing college life. :/

It's as sad as it sounds, really.

Gonna have a busy, busy, busy and i mean REALLY BUSY week ahead of me.

I'll be sitting for tests (including DI) the whole of next week,starting from tomorrow.

Yes, I kid you not. It's the WHOLE week. O.o

I'm beginning to wonder if I'll actually have anymore free time/ me time/ alone time/ hang out time/ shopping time left after that?!

and, I guess, the darkening and deepening of eyebags as well as emerging acnes will be inevitable for the week.

:'(

This is a mistake.

How could I be so naive and easily shaken?

Fragile.

Bottled up.

I sit by my mobile for hours,

Constantly looking out for a buzz from you,

or perhaps a simple,sweet text message to come by,

But, they never did.

Each time I keep my hopes up high in the sky,

They are bound to be crushed,broken and lost.

I tried,

Seeking for a place to hide what I've been feeling,

To supress all this screwed up emotions, bottled up inside of me,

To embrace the truth that miracles don't happen,

But, to no avail,

Your well-structured physique, soft whispers, and tenderly love,

Outweighs every intention for me to turn away.

So,tell me.

How long more can I stand being alone?

Stranded in a deserted world of my own, not knowing which direction to head,

Just, please, don't ever leave me hanging by the thread,

I'm afraid of taking a step forward and back,

I'm even more uncertain of how your heart is feeling,

And now, I'm just pleading for the truth to be unveiled,

But, Is it not written in your eyes?

Boy, I don't know.

Ohmygoodness.

Emotional much. :'/ GAH.

I Blame Hui and Aaron !

But, hee. (:

another one added into the collection.

wheee. ;D

Keeping quiet.

Enlighten me, please.

Imagine, sitting out in the dark night,

Gazing longingly at the bright, shining stars,,

sipping a cup of the oh-so-delicious coffee served with biscottis,

ahhhh.. wouldn't it be some great satisfaction,there?

I'm having sudden cravings for an aromatic cup of coffee. (:

Care for a cup, anyone? ;D

We're so close, yet so far.

I need the strength to carry on.

~credits to : weheartit.com~

Zomg.

I like ze' poem. (:

I'm falling even harder than before.

A glimpse of who we've become.

College life is depressing. :'(

Why did I grow up so soon?

BOO! :/

Uncertain of who you are,

and what I am to you.

Sing me a lullaby.

Malfunctioning brain,

Emerging eyebags,

Terrifying Mood swings,

Sloppiness.

I.need.sleep.

RIGHT NOW! :/

Standing strong.

Random (:

Lately, the college mates have been pretty poetic,

coming up with various kinds of poems just for the fun of it.

make a trip to Yong Hui's blog for a clearer understanding of what I'm saying. (:

Hence, I came up with this.

wheee. (:

took me a good few minutes to type em' out.

Really random. :P

heh.

You held my head close to your heart,

The pulse of your heart was then heard aloud,

As I traced my fingers in between yours,

I could feel the warmth of your hand against mine,

It was as though the world only revolves around you and me,

but, within a split second,

you left, and I was stranded all alone.

I was brutally hurt by your actions,

and,all that was left were bits and pieces of memories

that are now shattered and gone,

It was then that I knew,

this would be the end,

the end of all beginnings.

i'll wait.

Grumbles.

it's 2:15 a.m now,

and, you know what?

I'm hungry.

a brand new beginning. (:

Walking away.

“ I learned that things don’t always turn out the way you planned, or the way you think they should. And I’ve learned that there are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put back together the way they were before. I’ve learned that some broken things stay broken, and I’ve learned that you can get through bad times and keep looking for better ones, as long as you have people who love you.
- Jennifer Weiner-

Glancing through that broken window,

Subconsciously,I ran my fingers through the shattered pieces,

I could feel my heart racing faster than before,

At that point in time, everything just stood still.

Slowly yet silently,

Strings of memories flooded the mind, one after another.

Bringing in both bitter and sweet moments.

those nasty, obsessive, traumatizing nightmares were vague, undefined, blur.

Engraving only beautiful, blissful moments deep within the heart.

and the rest, I believe, was history.

Little by little,

the mind develops,

Things thought to be impossible was made possible,

Rebellion was a form of nature to many,

Curiosity was a necessity,

Learning to love and be loved was perhaps the greatest, most important lessons in life,

However, The misery and hurt that erupts from a broken relationship would be an even greater lesson to bear.

Through it all,

The heart and mind matures,

People grow out of their own Lil' comfy shell,

they break free,

they learn from mistakes that not many can experience,

they shake off the grudges held within the heart for decades,

they learn to smile, when things doesn't seem right,

they laugh it off when things are always wrong,

they press on even when their presence are no longer appreciated and acknowledged,

they let go , when they're tired of holding on any longer,

they walk away when the heart calls for it.

So, this is it.

A breakthrough in an ordinary girl's life.

A decision made.

and, there will be no turning back.

*inhales*

this is an overwhelming feeling. (:

In awe.

DAMN!

My hands are beginning to itch.

Having the urge to blog about Promtay 09' now.

But, I guess that'll have to wait till... later.

As for now,

Let me update you with pretty pictures. (:

Heritage Mansion.

The place where Promtay was held.

Amazing. Classic.

heck! it's the prettiest club I've ever seen. No joke.

it's really beautiful , especially during the night.

with the spotlights, and dance floor and

well.. of course, *coughs*the drinks*coughs* too. (:

lol.

Main entrance.

Of aquarium and the golden pillows.

Where we took our Crew piccie too! ;)

Pretty in Gold, no? (:

We hung out here the WHOLE time.

It was cooling, noisy and well.. uhm.. shimmery too. LOL.

The uber huge UNISEX washroom.

yeah. Imagine that. (:

Guys, Girls. ALL sharing the same washroom.

geee..

oh. you know what caught my attention?

the numerous amount of mirrors flooding the whole mansion and even in the WASHROOM.

*Eyes widened*

It's bigger than the dance floor. Seriously. I kid you not.

It's HUGE.

Pretty ain't it?

The see-through dance floor.

It's unique, ya?

As expected, there were a bunch of despo dudes up skirting the ladies from the ground floor that night. -.-

Well well,

I guess that's it for today.

Now, here's a sneak peek to the upcoming post! :D

L-R : Aiz, Ken Ming, Roger, Ian, Tiffany, Dorie, yours truly, Justin, Shaun.

Proud to be one of em'!

so, stay tune.

loves.