Silent night.

The past weeks haven't been all that great.
I would find myself drowning in my own world,
With pictures and albums in hands,
Just reminiscing of the past and dreading the present times.
I could clearly remember just how much I've enjoyed being who I was years ago.
Naive. Crazy. Talkative. Laughter. Silliness. that was a part of me.
But, not today, not tomorrow, not anymore.
I knew changes were inevitable, and now I'm molded to be who I am today,
Causing a great deal of difficulties and embarrassment towards people I love, for wanting to be me.
Being narcissistic was the devil behind all of these bruises and scars,
and now, I might just go breaking their heart again.
Feeling utterly remorseful for the broken promises and constant disappointments I've made.

Time and again, I thought I've truly find myself again,
but to great despair, that overwhelming joy was never here to stay.
I hate that this keeps coming back to me.
I hate that this never ending circle is killing every part of me.

Dear God,
I will uphold and trust,
because with You,
I know all things are possible.
and, with this, I commit and believe.